Isn’t it ironic… don’t you think, a little too ironic, and what I really do think –
It’s like a pandemicccc on your wedding day!’
Bet Ms Morissette never saw this bad boy coming.
The Elephant in the Room
To all those lovely couples planning their weddings under a cloud, I see you.
I see the care and agility with which you are tackling this monstrous obstacle. The re-arranging. The pivoting. The last minute alterations. The heart breaking guest list cuts. The itchy fingers that obsessively check the Age live feed for updates. And the bemusement that the Prime Minister and Premier’s bi- weekly Rona press conferences, are now an unmissable part of your week.
I would wager that this is not how you envisaged the planning or execution of your wedding day.
While people told you that sometimes the wedding planning side of things can be stressful, I am pretty sure they didn’t have pressure of pandemic proportions in mind. You have squeezed, stressed and stretched. You have re-organised and re-re-organised. All with the aim of having the most beautiful moment with THE person who means the most to you.
I am so bloody sorry that this has happened to you.
A Flattening Curve and A Deep Breath
In Australia we are so blessed that at this point in time, it looks like our public health messaging is working, and we are ‘flattening the curve’. A curve we didn’t even know existed 5 weeks ago, but a curve that is now shaping how we live, how we work, and how we celebrate and commemorate, the moments that mean the most to us in the whole world.
We are all now spending more time at home than we used to. Hopefully home is a safe and comforting place for you to be. Hopefully you’re there together.
Now is the time to grab a cuppa, take a deep nourishing breath and just let it out. Let go of the expectations, the way things ‘need to be,’ and try to embrace this new, slightly weird, kind of normal.
It’s now a few weeks in. Hopefully these societal shock waves have settled in your household, and you have some time on your hands. Maybe even some bonus face to face time with your fiance’.
Standing on shifting sands is never a comfortable place to be. But setting some goals can be a useful way to feel in control and to do something practical, at a time where we are each feeling so very small.
Times of crisis can be a really energising force. They can crystallise the things that are most important to you.
You can still get married.
Even now, amidst all the covid craziness.
You can take a long walk in Plenty Gorge with your lover, two witnesses and a celebrant. Here you can make that most significant of commitments to your bestie, with some beautiful bellbirds and kookaburras as guests.
Or maybe you start planning like crazy for the wedding party of the century, when we are all on the other side of this thing?
Maybe you do both – a beautiful, meaningful, mindful elopement, and a fabulous love party in a years time, with all the people you love, including the barista who makes your morning coffee.
Hopefully you and your partner have that time together now. Let’s use it to start planning a fabulous tomorrow.
Grab a wine and sit down together. Talk about what really matters to you for your wedding day.
Who needs to be there to make it feel real?
Do they need to be there in person, or can we live stream your ceremony?
Do you have some place special to you where we can make it official?
Think about parks, beaches, beautiful lookouts and bush walks. Brunswick murals that make your heart feel full or the back stoop at your place – many of these special places are still open.
Who is in your vendor dream team?
Reach out to those vendors you have been insta stalking for months. See if you can catch up with them for a BYO wine date over Skype or Zoom. If you live locally, maybe you can just holler out your windows to each other to see if the vibe is right.
I can guarantee that all those lovely wedding vendors would love to hear from you. We all need something to look forward to right now.
Start planning your vows.
With more time on your hands, likely at home together, the things you love about each other (and the things that drive you nuts) are probably in technicolour right now.
In the hustle and bustle of life, sometimes these things can fall beneath the surface of our awareness.
Right now, many of us have a quiet opportunity to rediscover all the things we love about our partner.
Take the time to notice your partner. All the little things they do for you, and the reasons why you love them. How they have supported you through this time of uncertainty.
Grab a pen and jot those things down. Keep adding to this list and soon enough you’ll have your vows before you have your venue sorted.
Sending a Big Hug to Wrap Around You
If all of this change still makes your heart hurt. If thinking about the wedding is all too hard right now, that’s okay too.
Think about a few small isolation goals you can build into your week. Things that nourish your soul, your belly and your mind. Things that keep the connections with the people you love thriving.
And when the time is right, and you’re feeling a bit more sprightly, we will all be here, waiting to hear from you.
Photo Credit: Ryan Wheatley
**Post originally published in April 2020